Friday December 15th 2017.

The final clubnight of the year and the crowds were out in force with their over- the- top headgear and jumpers.

For me, Christmas starts, not mid September when Slade can be heard in Tesco’s, but when Alun sings “In the Bleak Midwinter”. I’ll put it on at the end so get a cuppa and a mince pie ready.

Unfortunately, I had to follow that. A song about Good King Herod and then the one about the man who slits the turkeys’ throats at Christmas eventually got some audience participation. My singing is actually better than it sounds, although many would disagree.

Jeff “took a load off fanny” with the audience now getting to grips with the concept of harmonies, but more of him later. I must thank Ruth once again for her superb collection of photos – they’d tell the story of the night on their own without the drivel from me.

Phil Williams’ set got us joining in as he always does; it’s good to see him getting down more regularly.

MIKE HAD A NEW JUMPER!! Very nice too. “Lord Franklin” wasn’t very festive, but I suppose he was near the North Pole and Santa’s Grotto when he starved to death in the ice. “Do You Hear What I Hear” was an excellent addition to his repertoire; aided by a Senior Citizen’s i- pad (crumpled scrap of paper with the words on – batteries don’t run out).

Brian was wearing the suit he normally reserves for weddings and funerals. His first offering was a pre-Christian pagan song, pre-dating even Noddy Holder, followed up by “Christmas Bells”. The concertina didn’t sound too bad.

T Gwyn took us to the break with Tennyson’s “Crossing the Bar”. I agree with him that Mike should sing this again.

There was a groaning table of butties etc. for us during the break, alongside a groaning table of raffle prizes, but the tension was palpable as Margaret rolled a ball out of the bingo machine for the winning number for the Vintage Cask Glenfiddich (generously donated by Steve Jones). Rick wasn’t there! Who would win? Could it be me? (No ****ing chance!). Bugger!, it was Stuart.

Part 2 started off tastefully with Sheila reading “The Night Before Christmas” – I’m sure a lot of us will be churning this one out to our Grandchildren next week. I must thank Mike & Sheila for sitting in the draughtiest spot in the club every week and making everyone feel so welcome as they arrive (and part with their cash).

Adrian’s jumper was very festive, much less so his songs. The one about the naked woman with a dagger concealed between her voluminous breasts does however always bring a certain warm glow (to half the audience, anyway).

Mel can be relied upon to make us smile; despite his St Patrick’s Day headgear he was well in the Christmas spirit. “Walking round in women’s underwear” however has left me in need of counselling, as the image of Adrian in a see thru negligee is imprinted in my visual cortex. Mrs B will give him grief again re. the greasy fingerprints on the guitar.

John Killion read the one about the Christmas puddin’ made for Marksman Sam Small at the Battle of Badajoz. I found this greatly entertaining, which is more than can be said for the tedious, never-ending, makes blood drip from your ears “Push the bloody damper in” song. He hates me ‘cos I’m from Burnley.

EmCee had run the night superbly, as always. There was never going to time for a second round for everybody, but he allowed time for the group finale. Ruth’s photo tells it all. Jeff at his best. The choreography would certainly win the glitterball on “Strictly dancing when you’re half pissed”.

On a serious note, Stuart was accosted in the car park where he was encouraged to give the whisky “to charity”. The police would like to interview a tall lady with a baseball bat and her getaway car driver who was heard to sing “Waltzing Matilda” whilst simultaneously necking the uncorked bottle as they sped away towards Prestatyn.

Next clubnight is on the 5th January. I would like to wish you all a happy and a prosperous New Year, although this seems ever more unlikely as Brexit looms closer. Never mind, here’s Alun.

 

 

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