Friday February 9th 2018.

Tonight was a “theme” night”, with everyone attempting to do at least one humorous item. A bit Curate’s egg?

Alun opened with three “serious” songs. He still managed one of the best laughs of the night when the battery in his ‘leccy accordion died; never happens to Phil Cunningham.

Jeff attempted two new ones. Probably not a good idea. “Put another dog on the fire” is a good song but the vocals were drowned out by the guitar, and deserves another try someday. Many years ago I used to sing a Louden Wainwright 3rd song called “Synchronicity”. I stopped doing it for two reasons; a). half the audience found it offensive  b). only myself and Jeff found it amusing. It would appear that both a) and b) are still valid. Not worth another go.

I’d been to the crem’ that afternoon to see off an old pal and felt compelled to sing “When I’m gone” but lightened things up with “Will the turtle be unbroken”.

Adrian wasn’t amongst us as he’d packed up his heated rollers (long time unused) and headed off to PyeongChang for the curling and hopefully achieve his lifelong ambition of being interviewed by Clare Balding.

Mike teased us by pretending he didn’t have a gag but he let it loose after singing “A sailor’s life”. Thankfully because I’m very old I’ll forget it very quickly.

Thanks to Andrew the Younger for covering me for the blog last week but there was an item of fake news. 2 weeks ago I revealed that Brian had been transported to Lobotomy Bay (for poaching Lord Gallt Melyd’s boneless chickens). These days there is always some wideboy ready to cash in on someone else’s misfortunes. We now have a Brian Bull tribute act calling himself “Sam Steer”, who tried to pass off some of Brian’s songs. However this guy’s concertina playing was pretty ropey, although he had gone to great lengths to achieve “the look” with silly shoes and a crash diet to achieve the “long streak of piss” physique, made fashionable by our hero.

Mel had a couple of good gags (and a couple of so-so ones)  and the song containing as many words as possible that rhyme with “anchor” and “merchant banker”.

During the break the Snowball wasn’t won so rolls over to 1000p next week.

Geoff Skellern (hope that’s right) was with us a few weeks ago and returned with material by Cumbrian Pete Skellon. I’m easily confused – this is why people frequently stop me in the street and ask “Are you lost?”.

Time for two more each. Alun had the pigeon fancier from the arse end of Derby, there was “Hollands’ meat pies” and some rock ‘n’ roll from me, Jake Thackray from Mel and the chicken song from Sam Steer.

Jeff and Alun gave us “Martha”. Here’s the picture of Jeff, with “her hair hung down in tresses” but click on it to see Jeff enlarged in his full glory.

Presumably in an attempt to verify Einstein’s theory of Special Confectionery, Jeff tried (unsuccessfully) to flush a Jaffa Cake down the loo at the back. This is still likely to be floating there next week so do not be alarmed if you find something unfamiliar staring up at you.

Geoff Durno hasn’t been well last week but we all wish him well and hope he’s back soon.

I’ll leave you with Mel and “The Sleeping Scotsman” (the fly half last week in Cardiff). I’m off to Colombia to sort out their drug gangs so you may get a decent blog for a week or two.





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