Friday 14th December (Xmas Party)

Yes, it was the Christmas bash. Without a doubt, the best thing was seeing Stuart back and looking good (or as good as an ugly bugger ever looks).

 

Adrian, despite his jumper proclaiming him to be Santa, started off in predictably unfestive mood, but Alun then retrieved things with “In the bleak midwinter”, which always denotes the beginning of the Christmas period for me.

Geoff Durno arrived with yet another guitar – you can only play one at a time Geoff! This one appeared to be made of black cardboard. When he eventually got it in tune he disappointed by not singing “Mary’s Boy Child” for the first time in 50 years, causing people to ask for their money back.

 

Mel appeared to have some sort of physical impairment as he struggled on to the stage. It turns out he was “Walking round in women’s underwear”. I always find it’s the thongs that cause the most grief.

As I was walking 500 miles and then 500 more, I saw Neil and Helen Shilladay walk through the door. The joiner can mend it next week. Having just travelled from Vancouver, tired and jetlagged, they came to the club before even dropping in on Helen’s mum. There’s commitment for you.

Rick played some tunes and T Gwyn read Adrian Henri’s “Talking Christmas Blues” to take us up to the break.

During the break, we could all stuff our faces from the buffet, whilst Andrew drew the raffle. I was glad to see my festive bread go to the Shilladays, who probably ate it on the way to Helen’s mum’s. I know you will be astounded to learn that yet again I failed to win any booze. The “Sinatra Select Jack Daniels, very kindly donated by Steve Jones was won by Val (the aggressive Val, not the nice one). This has raised almost £160 for club funds.

Dafydd read a poem, “A Christmas Carol”, translated from Welsh, by someone whose name passed me by, before our jetlagged and pissed-off-by-Air Canada (other crap airlines are available) chum Helen, despite having a piece of barbed wire seemingly lodged in her throat, knocked out a song for us.

I can’t ever remember a Sikh performer at the club before so it was another treat when Gorupta Singh entertained us with a couple of songs from the subcontinent**.

Yet another first was “Jeff and the Jeffettes”. A scratch band in every sense who somehow got through “Walking in a winter wonderland” without any major cock-ups.    ** No, I didn’t get that one from a cracker.

 

Mike was back with his guitar tonight and gave me one of my many mentions in “While Shepherds watched”. I resent the implication that my ancestors spent their time sitting on their arses all night with a packet of Woodbines and a six pack of Carly Special.

John Killion entertained us greatly with the story of Sam Small’s Xmas puddin’, before spoiling things with the interminable “Push the damper in”. It’s like dipping your haemorrhoids in Tabasco.

The last of the turns (full marks again to EmCee for getting all this lot in) was Brian. Although he is very modest about it, Brian gives his time to play in Nursing Homes in the area where he appears as an Elvis impersonator. He does this simply to ruin their day.

It was more shepherds sitting on their arses from Brian, but this time from the Sheffield Tradition. Brian gets an enormous amount of stick from me in this column (and indeed from the audience on a weekly basis) but he’s been a stalwart of the club  for many, many years and really deserves more respect. This does not mean that he will be picked on any less next year.

Jeff and Alun finished off the night as only they can. Most of the crowd left the building with their ribs aching from the laughter.

Don’t turn up again till

  January 4th as we won’t be there. There’s no recording for you this week as AWR was away, but by way of a change here’s a piece written by the Dalai Lama to think about. We’ll see you all again in 2019 and as Dave Allen would say, “May your God go with you”.

 

THE PARADOX OF OUR TIMES 

- His Holiness the Dalai Lama 

Is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers 
Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints 
We spend more, but we have less 
We have bigger houses, but smaller families 
More conveniences, but less time 
We have more degrees, but less sense 
More knowledge, but less judgment 
More experts, but more problems 
More medicines, but less wellness 
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values 
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often 
We have learnt how to make a living, but not a life 
We have added years to life, but not life to years 
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back 
But have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour 
We have conquered outer space, but not inner space 
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted our soul 
We’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice 
We’ve higher incomes, but lower morals 
We’ve become long on quantity but short on quality 
These are the times of tall men, and short character 
Steep profits, and shallow relationships 
These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare 
More leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition 
These are the days of two incomes, but more divorces 
Of fancier houses, but broken homes 
It is a time when there is much in the show window 
And nothing in the stockroom 

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3 Responses to “Friday 14th December (Xmas Party)”

  1. Cracking night! Thanks all.

  2. A great night, a great blog & great pics. I was very lucky to win the very special bottle of Jack Daniels +folk club hip flask which I intend to raffle again in the club to raise funds for a charity of my choice. Wishing fellow nutters a peaceful Christmas & a happy, healthy 2019.

  3. jonesthephones Says:

    Dalai Lama piece… Ace!
    I’d love to hear T Gwyn reading this (and similar) in the club.

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