Friday 31st May 2019.

Apologies for absence :- Ruth and Andrew have bought tickets for every gig on the Spice Girls tour, so they won’t be back for a while. Edna has gone with the scousers to watch footie in a bar in Madrid. Throughout the evening AWR told us everything we never knew (or wanted to know) about Samuel Pepys, focussing on his sex life.

Jeff had shaved himself this evening, his skin now less like a baby’s bum and more like a badger’s arse. With a high tech wireless thing stuck up the back end of his guitar, he was able to roam the stage with gay abandon; “Alexa! Play the right notes!”

Mike’s throat was now recovered, but sadly not his memory. “Geordie” was about killing deer and nothing to do with Newcastle, his second was about sailors dropping in on Hawaii after killing whales and the third featured Napoleon’s last holiday to a volcanic island in the South Atlantic.

My three went without any major cock ups. About as good as it gets.

Next up was the club “babe magnet”, Mr. Adrian West. He sang the song of which the tune, title and words  evaded him last week. After a shaky start, he got through “The banks of Sweet Primroses”, including the bit where the bloke asks the lady for “small relief”. The night visiting song featured, as usual, a cock, and was interrupted by Mr. West feigning a sneezing fit, which gave him time to remember the words. He failed miserably in demonstrating what I would call a “plyo lunge”. A straightforward exercise commonly used in HIIT workouts but apparently used in a Morris dance. He got down, as can be seen in the photo, but the St. John’s team at the back had to be called in to straighten him up when he froze in that position.

“We don’t live here no more”, although a grammatical nightmare, is one of my favourites from Alun’s list. “Happy Birthday” for Sunday Alun. He has now realised his childhood dream of becoming an old man.

T Gwyn was remembering the protests in Tiananmen Square. That’s 30 years ago! Alun was barely middle aged. I remember my teachers at junior school trying to explain it to us. Betjeman’s “Senex” was typically full of lust and we needed the break to settle us down.

AWR judged the time perfectly by allowing us 2 each second half. Mike got the award this week for perseverance in the face of adversity, when he carried on despite someone joining in the verses – in various keys and time signatures. There was a word from AWR. Fortunately we seem to have stopped the “dancing”.

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