Friday November 29th 2019.

Ruth and Andrew EmCee made a welcome return last night. I really must thank AWR for compering over the last two or three months, even though he did put me on first two weeks running.

A few of us had been to the curry house prior to arriving at the club; apologies for the unfortunates who had to sit near us.

Mike was up first, and tonight with his guitar. He’s obviously been practising. A predictably good set of three chorus songs.

Alun sang “Too Close to the Wind”, written by one of my ex patients, Stuart Marson. I was upset when Alun said that Stuart was late of this world, as he was a lovely, gentle bloke. It would appear that it was fake news and Stuart is still alive and well. Thanks Alun!

Adrian West had been knocking on doors this week – uninvited and inflicting his political views on others. Living at the back of beyond, I no longer get these irritating people and consequently miss the immense pleasure gained when telling them to f*** off.

Nicholas L Jackson is, for reasons beyond my comprehension, always popular at the club. Now in his twilight years, Nick wanted to give his body to science when he finally curls up his toes. Science said they didn’t want it. Instead, Nick has decided to have his organs put into glass jars and used at his old school as a warning against poor lifestyle choices.

It being St. Andrew’s Day today, I opted for a Scottish set. Mid-way through “Loch Tay”, my left hand decided to change key (on the guitar), without informing the rest of my body, notably my gob. The result was less than successful. Do NOT try this at home unless supervised by a responsible adult. Lesley used to sing “Bonny Lass o’ Fyvie” when she was at school, doing handstands against the wall with her skirt tucked into her knickers, a trick she regularly performs outside M & S (other badly performing high street stores are available) to the amazement of the crowds.

Geoff Durno transported us back to the blitz before singing “Red Shift Blues”. I was uncertain as to whether the song referred to the Doppler effect or not. (For the benefit of those who studied the Classics, the Doppler effect is the change in frequency of a wave when the source is moving toward or away from the observer eg. the change in pitch of the sound of a vehicle as it approaches, passes then recedes from you. If light is the wavelength involved, as an object recedes, the waves are stretched and move towards the red end of the spectrum -red shift! Clear now?)

Jeff  ended the first half with a bowl of “Blind Scouse” and one by his Bobness.

Time for a couple each in the second half.

We are always moaning that we don’t get any young people and female singers at the club. Throughout the night, we had been made aware of some bright young female faces on “the naughty row” at the back, and before Jeff and Alun could end the night with a chorus song, the three young ladies organised a bloodless coup and took over with a couple of verses of “Green Fields of France”. As we all went home, I heard someone singing “There were 3 drunken maidens….”. A good night.

There may not be a blog next week – stuff to do.



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