Friday January 24th 2020

A pre Burns’ Night special. Also pre St Dwynwen and Chinese New Year, but more of those later. Illness and surgery had reduced our numbers slightly, but we had Pritchards again. Basically the idea was for everyone to do something with a Scottish theme.

Adrian (local co-ordinator for the Flat Earth Society – members all around the globe) couldn’t be arsed to do any Scots songs so he made a West Highland Terrier out of balloons.

Alun, by contrast had risen to the challenge.

“Lass of Glenshee” and then “Lizzie Lindsay”, which was preceded by a few bars of “Miss Rowan Davies”, Scottish to the core despite it’s apparent Welsh name.

Brian only got as far north as Keswick with Derwentwater’s farewell;  an uplifting story  about  a bloke  who  had  his  migraines  cured.  By  an  axe. To be  fair,  “Parcel  of  rogues”  was  written by  Burns  and  isn’t  an  easy  tune  to  master.

A couple from me – Dougie Maclean’s overrated “Caledonia”, which earned him a King’s ransom from Tennents’ lager (other tasteless gassy beers are available) and “Ae Fond Kiss”, courtesy of tonight’s main man.

This brought us to tonight’s star turn. We were privileged to have Lesley in our midst again. What a talent! Drop dead gorgeous with it. (Ok, I’m on a promise)

“Ailsa Ann Anderson” was the fiddle tune, followed by a tale of the cat from Bowmore distillery, delivered in her gentle Aberdonian tones. The bloke accompanying her on guitar was a bit of a waste of space.

Mel was a late arrival, but he had the tale of the Sleeping Scotsman who woke up with a ribbon tied around his “appendage”. An awful gag tonight.

The Break.

I’ve again been pondering life’s greater issues.

Q). If the earth is flat, what’s on the other side?

Q). Why do lemon drinks contain artificial flavourings, but shower gels contain real lemon juice?

Q). How does Vaughan Gething keep his job?

Dafydd had nipped out and returned with a bottle of Jura malt for the raffle. Margaret won it. Bitch.

The second half continued with T Gwyn, desperately in need of a shave and a haircut, treating us to a Welsh verse for Dwynwen and a Burns’ piece called “The Fornicator” – filth, reminiscent of Betjeman.

Geoff Durno was struggling to think of anything Caledonian, but eventually came up with Kilbowie Hill, a Robin Laing song. Basically Raglan Road with different (but better) words.

At 9.50, EmCee decided that there was just time for a round of one each. At 10.10 he realised that we would finish by twenty past. Thanks to the inherent flexibility of “the system” this was changed to two each.

As Geoff began the last song of the night, we were startled by what sounded like automatic gunfire from outside. An absence of bullet riddled corpses in the road made us realise that it was the Chinese restaurant over the road setting off fireworks.

I sang “Will the turtle be unbroken” as last week’s request – next week it’s Alun with “Ride On”.

As a tribute to the great fornicator from Ayrshire, if you’re short of something to do, here’s “Ae Fond Kiss”.

 

 

 

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