Friday April 24th 2020

Tonight should have been the AGM. We had a Zoom Committee meeting last week and decided that even Adrian West would have to make allowances for us and it will now be held soon after the club reopens, continuing with the same officers etc.

Sound checks had been completed by the Fiasco Manager and we were rolling out through the ethers at 8.00 (less Alun, who we presume was the worse for the drink).

Mel was the opening turn,pictured here in his back garden tonight. He now has the dubious honour of being the first person to **** up the words. To be fair it was “Hamlet in 3 minutes”, as he celebrated Shakespeare’s birthday, St. George’s Day and home schooling all in one.

Andrew  (El Fiasco) had a list – but he wasn’t letting on and sprung it on Mike. First line – “For nearly 60 years I’ve been a Cochyn”, which as I understand, is “redhead”in Welsh (don’t bother to correct me Alun), which is about the same time I’ve been one.

Looking at the gallery view of everyone there, I could see Mel eating his dinner and Ruth knitting PPE for Glan Clwyd, but the couple dogging were of more interest. Looked like Jan on top but I couldn’t be sure.

David Cutillas was coming live from Spain, and sang a couple in what could possibly be described as “swing” style. What a refreshing change – went down really well here at Beniar. “Dancing cheek to cheek” was followed by “If I had a brain”(?), which lead us directly to Mr. Blythin.

“How can a poor man stand such times and live?” We will all find out soon enough when we have to start paying back the eye-watering billions we’ve had to borrow. Many people can get to grips with”a million”, but don’t really understand “billions”. As an example, a million seconds is nearly 12 minutes. A billion seconds is 31 years. A lot to pay back.

Nick Jackson played a couple of his favourites (but not necessarily ours) – “Rain & Snow” and “St. James Infirmary”. If you keep bending those old strings, Nick, you’ll break ’em, then there’ll be tears!

John Warburton was back again. “Mary’s Dream” – probably the most depressing song of the night, John. If you want to join the Dragon’s Breath on line session, it’s on Tuesday nights at 8.00 on Zoom. Go to Zoom and the ID is 3175777, the password is 653326.

A couple from me . “Billy Austin” and “Maggie”. In “Folk Song Top Trumps”, does a hanging beat an electric chairing? I noticed as I looked at the gallery that Glenys had asked to be placed in an induced coma for my set.

Susie Dent (dictionary corner, Countdown) had yesterday’s “word of the day” – “ultracrepidarian”, following the orange President’s top cure for Covid – taking disinfectant intravenously; it means “one who continually offers advice and opinions on subjects way beyond their understanding”.

Commercial Break – here’s a word from our sponsors:-

John and Karen Killion wer relaxed in their transvestite gear (watch the video if you don’t believe me). The chorus of their song contained a dildo and their poem was one by Hovis Presley. I couldn’t make it up.

Brian was again recorded, but although the sound was ok, video was in freeze frame. “The band played Waltzing Matilda” commemorated Anzac Day (today, 25th).

Geoff Durno is struggling with a couple of fractured vertebrae (no Brokeback Mountain gags please). Seriously, hoping you’ll start getting better before too long, Geoff. Nice set as always.

Geoff Ludden (there wasn’t the same choice of Christian names when we were kids) sang about his home town, now a city but just as dirty, Salford.

T Gwyn completed the line up. Subtitles for the Welsh one and a guitar for his song. Is that a ponytail sticking out behind your head Gwyn?

I’ve been doing the Saturday blog for 6 years now and it’s even harder to write something every week now it’s all on line – I’m very aware that it’s becoming just a few poor gags interlaced with the incoherent ramblings of a disillusioned old man, but Jeff has offered to do it next week and volunteered Alun for the week after, so that’s something for you all to look forward to.

Anyone heard from Ann and Frank?

As I write this (11.30) the video still isn’t uploaded to YouTube but here is the link.

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