Friday May 1st 2020.

Some one else offered to write the blog this week. I think he was at another meeting in a parallel universe (JS)

Friday May 1st 2020

Chocolate Orange Theft Case Goes To 2nd Hearing
Jury Dismissed Over Claims of Excessive Flatulence
From your new friendly correspondent Gill Bolding

Dear friend,

Before I impart the horrors of this particularly nasty case please let me say how happy I am to be
given the chance to redeem myself in the eyes of my editor.
As I look up from my typewriter, I notice it is 09:20am, time for a small snifter I think, ah that’s better, now, where
was I? Ah yes, the report of the latest offering from the wandering tribe of itinerants known as Rhyl Folk Club.
My all leather steam driven computer was up and running smoothly when the first performer of the evening was
introduced, Y Rhyl’s very own Mr. Mike Hawkins, unfortunately I had spilled some of my drink over my lap and
therefore in the vigorous rubbing dry of the area I missed the title of the songs etc. but I can assure you the sound
emanating from my computer was mellifluous in the most soothing of ways. Once I had stopped rubbing the
offending area, he had completed his turn at the track and it was onto the next guest a Mr. Geoff Durno,
champion flower sifter of Llanelwy. Two confident numbers ending up with an excellent version of This Old guitar.
Mr. Durno did claim Mr. Hawkins had appropriated one of his songs, well I suppose that’s the beauty of going
first. Round about this time it was pointed out that one of the audience was reclining as if on the ‘back-benches’
in Parliament. I begged to differ as he’d got his eyes open.

Next to the fore was a red bereted singer that hails from Prestatyn. He was admiring the sunset as seen from his
prison cell window and dreaming of days gone by, I should imagine a bit like Charles 1st on the evening of Jan 29th
1649. Anyway, enough of my ramblings, interesting though they are. This Mr. Jones suddenly whipped out, from
beneath his desk, a guitar, and treated us to ‘Make You Feel My Love’, unfortunately he is with a crap Internet
supplier and so the sound wasn’t what it could have been. His second offering of ‘The Lark in The Morning’ was
received very well with the audience seemingly miming along in their own confines. The camera then swivelled to
the winner of last year’s ‘Val Doonican Look-a-Like Runner Up’, a Mr. J. Shepherd from Llanfairbackofbeyond, he
sat resplendently in front of his fireplace and imitation log fire, he burns imitation logs by all accounts, all that was
missing was a rocking chair and that woman from Parry’s Corner. He delivered ‘In the Early Morning Rain’
excellently and he’d obviously been working on his set-up as the sound quality was very good. Then in deference
to a Mr. Adrian Rasputin he sang ‘Look Out Mama There’s a White Boat Coming Up the River’, what the chuff that
was about I have no idea.

Suddenly we had the handsome features of Mr. M. Barratt from Engurlund on our screens, and again someone
who has worked out how the ‘lectric supply to the house can effect the overall sound, and gave us two lovely
songs the first being ‘You Belong To Me’ a great love song and then he switched to ‘Stepping Out Mary’ which
again had the audience bobbing around and miming to the words, top notch stuff.
The next artist had me a little baffled to start with I thought the camera was upside down but then I realised he
was sporting a magnificent beard; it was David Hytch who helps run the Dragon’s Breath Folk Club. He played and
sang ‘Powder Fingers’ a new one on me but it’s good to hear songs you haven’t discovered before and then gave
us one of my favourite numbers ‘The Dimming of The Day’, thank you David.

The evening’s entertainment was then switched to Y Rhyl again where a white-headed lunatic was rambling on
about getting drunk at home as opposed to the pub. Who the hell let him in I do not know? He sang a couple of
numbers, forgetting the words to one of them and giggling quite a lot, must be something in the water, like too
much whisky. We stayed in Y Rhyl for the next 2 numbers, Brian Bull, winner of The Norman Collier award for
delayed mouth movement, though it must be said that as per usual the sound and performance was first class. He
gave us ‘Lord Franklin’s Lament’, which I love, and ‘Won’t You Come Down’, another one I love, thank you Brian.
Sir Johnathon Killion of Y Rhyl was up next and delivered the poem, ‘Live in Hope’. Strange that he wandered as
far south as Derbyshire but hey ho, a great piece and a lovely place to visit. He then had the world’s audience
exercising, which is a good thing in these times, to ‘You Push the Damper In’, a special request from

We then travelled up the hills to near Marian Cwm where the Rev T. G. Williams was waiting for us to perform ‘Yn
yr Iaith Gymraeg’, ‘Eira Ar Y Coed’, with a trnslation for all of us that aren’t fluent in God’s own language. We than
had a recording of his version of ‘She Belong’s To Me’. His description of his memoies relative to the feeling about
the song took me right back to my own youth; ah those borrstal days were idilic.

We skipped the beer break this week, just as well as the Lunatic from Y Rhyl was getting rather tired and
emotional, suddenly appearing in a pink wig and then a bit of a horse’s arse strapped to his head; some people, I
just don’t know why they’re allowed out; oh hang on we’re not are we.

After we’d run through the performers, we travelled the country again with the night being finished off by Sir J.
Killion with ‘The Coal Hole’, how that went down in St. Petersburg I have no idea.

Before I finish my report, I must say it was good to see some new faces and names on the screen, some people
obviously don’t wish to be seen, Interpol get everywhere these days as do the D.W.P. but it was good all the
same. To finish we must say a big thank you to Nurse Ratchet who ran the evening exceptionally well, and it must
be mentioned that his work isn’t over then as it takes at least 2 hours to reconfigure the recording fit for UTube.

So, until the next time, sleep well.
As ever your new friend, Gill Bolding.

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