Friday July 10th 2020.

Hey ho and away we go; I’m giving John a break today, so don’t expect erudition, education or jokes. BTW, this report is not subject to a monopoly. If you would like to contribute a rendition of what went on, then please speak to John Shepherd. I’m sure he would welcome a hand every now and again. You don’t have to be Pulitzer Prize standard, as you can see from my meagre offerings, just tell it like you see it and bung it in an email to Beniar, and hey presto, you’re in print. There is no reason that we can’t have a precis in cymraeg. In fact we should be more inclusive all round. So, two things to think about, 1. Have a go at the blog report one Friday. 2. Get someone who can parley vous to give us a translation for proper bilingual report, or just a few paragraphs in welsh to keep those who would prefer to see this in their own language.

Right, so that’s the drum banged, and I wasn’t going to say anything about Gaffer’s braces.

Anne and Frank were in early, as was Adie and turns –various sound-checking with a loon. I had made a note to admonish ARJ, but John Warburton kindly stepped in with the correction, I would have given him a hundred lines as well! Irish indeed!- Maryhill, Glasgow is the birthplace of Donovan. John S kicked us off with a geography lesson and two tales of the sea, or dying, which going round Cape Horn or rowing over sand-bars can be a precursor to. Today’s first lesson was going to be about the number of acorns able to be carried by a Jay in its gullet. You will be pleased to know that I may do that for homework. Today’s lesson is about the etymology of “cocky” and includes reference to Mike H and his fine rendition of Now I’m Easy. A cocky, or more correctly a cow cocky is Australian or NZ slang for a dairy farmer. And cocky’s joy is not what you think it is. Check it out in Chambers. Mike’s second offering was the Song for Ireland. Nick Jackson up next with When I’m  Gone by Phil Ochs and a true (?) story about a redundant Rotherham gardener, whose ingenuity with both dibber and bulb placement did not go down well with the authorities. I have spared your blushes with regard cormorants, flatulence and the benefits of orchidectomy on male cattle.

T Gwyn next, with a poem in welsh and a railroad song by a big mate of Woody Guthrie.  Margaret Mead was in late, as was Roly.

Ashley was in late (again) and not done his homework (again).

I leave that sentence so I can cut and paste it next week, saves me typing.

Normal background checks having been done and Chas and Jan were in too. Gaffer next with stories of heavily laden maritime transport going down off West Shore. Cracking braces. I have no time to research the etymology of bitter. As in four bitter and six bitter. I am a huge fan of bitter, so after my research, I will let you know. Early indications seem to suggest that it may not be the same as a hop-based fluid sold widely. This six bitter (hyphen?) was about avoiding the revenue men in the west country. I am happy to report that he had it away on his toes ( on a horse) in the morning.

Dafydd and Bea next up with a cornucopia of verse in both languages. Llewelyn and an alphabet soup sounds like a menu item in a posh estaminet.

Advert: Like-minded chums with Tuesday diversions in mind should check out Dragons Breath zoom meeting. Usual rules apply: 3175777448. Pswd 653326. It is a good night according to the webmaster. Accordingly, a double offering from both Mr and Mrs Warburton. John, having corrected ARJ in his false belief in the Hibernian roots of Mr Leitch, gave us Donovan’s Why do you treat me like you do? Carol had a fine bit of whimsy regarding a wayward goat and other travails. John finished off his set with a fine version of Steve Knightley’s Cousin Jack.

Geoff Durno’s appendages were in recovery sufficient for him to entertain us in grand style with a H Andrews song Take a little time. Harvey A is the one wot wrote the Rhymin’ song that we all love and mis-time to collective delight each time Geoff does it. Catch a boat paired up Geoff’s turn. Sheila up next. Lots of the spoken word tonight and no bad thing either in my view. And we haven’t finished the first half yet!

Sheila had more cheerful fare for us tonight with Mrs Ayres and her dentist’s national anthem, followed by an outrageous plan to preserve the ozone layer, the flatulence tax by John O’Neill, may be just the thing to reduce greenhouse gasses- or not! John Killion continues to look better and we are all happy about that. More words, if any were needed, on the benefits of beer. You’ll have no arguments from me lad! Sam Small up before the C.O., was next, trying to mitigate his part in a fracas caused during a drinking session. Surely not! ARJ brought a full to the brim first half to a close with the aforementioned Donovan and the perennial Streets of London.

Drinks break, down on one knee and we are off again. Mike rambling and Nick tasting the delights of Sutton-on-Sea. T Gwyn and the haunting Butch Hancock number If You Were a Bluebird. Gwyn mention covers by Emmylou Harris and Joe Ely, but I think the version by Butch himself on the Joe Ely live at Liberty Lunch is one of few songs which are better when sung by a man. Just sayin’.

Any word starting with onycho is liable to excite anyone but Gaffers refusal to offer pedicure as a condition of marriage has a certain attraction. JW gave us his self-penned paean to proscribed substances before Mr D’s in praise of tea. Where is Rick? John K had a true story (he says) of the problems experienced by the Oldham Rangers who discovered that they had no beans in their snap.

ARJ finished off with adverts for male cosmetics (Lynx-geddit?) and thanked all and sun-dried for their efforts , noting the welcome plethora of spoken word contributions in both Welsh and English.

A loon also suggested a conversational free-for-all after the final number. This was contrary to the advice of all Johns and quite a few others. They were right! It was utter chaos- the conversational equivalent of herding cats- still we all had a good laugh….. and Natasha enjoyed it.

Here’s the recording :-



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