Archive for the Club Night – What happened? Category

Friday May 22nd 2020.

Posted in Club Night - What happened? on May 23, 2020 by Rhyl Folk Club

This week, your happy-go-lucky ray of sunshine returns with the blog, to remind you that it’s only a month till the nights start drawing in again.

With the soundchecks done, MCJeff threw himself to the lions for the first set.

img337 smallA couple from me followed, the second with a good thigh-slapping chorus to burn off a few calories from the excess booze. Last week, Lesley had asked “How many drinks a week do you have?” What I thought to be a witty riposte – “I’m an alcoholic, not a bloody accountant” didn’t go down as well as I’d hoped.

Alun sang one with a vague link to Whitsun and Mike was lamenting Lord Franklin and his tinned food (look up the history).

In between turns, Jeff was reading more of his agony aunt correspondence, notably from Myfanwy Carburettor (mother of Dilys Fuelinjector); I would disregard Jeff’s advice – I believe a wire brush and Carbolic soap to be more effective than scrubbing it with Anusol. Try both? The brushes need replacing after a few week’s use.

Mel had been entertaining us all night with his quick-change backgrounds, but now had to sing. “A Pub With No Beer” was no stranger to those of us who used to frequent The Bee – no beer, no light bulbs, no bog roll and, eventually, no landlord.

“Loss of Taste” has been cited as a symptom of a Coronovirus infection. This won’t be much use to some who join us on Zoom on a Friday as, judging from the stuff they have in their homes, they have never had any taste whatsoever.

T Gwyn got some stick on the chat column in this respect- some of the paintings on his wall could frankly have been done by a child. Excellent laid back songs from Gwyn again this week.

I look forward to Ash’s contribution each week. Last night he got off to a dodgy start when his cat tried to climb on his guitar headstock and mate with it.

David Hytch is another very welcome and refreshing addition to the “turns”. Tonight he was playing “slide” on a Dobro. You need a proper microphone David, the sound doesn’t do you justice.

There was verse from Bee and Dafydd. Dafydd had also provided an excellent X word on our FB page this week. When will I receive my £25 for completing it?

Back again in a round of one each. We hope to have an extra extra special treat next week if Natasha, our Moscow correspondent, can record a piece for us to play (time difference means it’s late for her and the other residents may be less than cheerful if she starts singing at just gone midnight).

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Philby, Burgess, Maclean…..Roly?

Mel rounded off the night in fine style with a medley of sloppy smoochy songs from yesteryear. Remember the end of the school discos, lads, when they played a slow one at the end; there would be girls dancing on their own and you had 3 minutes to decide “Chippie or a shag?” (wishful thinking, it was always the chippie).

Excellent work from Jeff and AWR in bringing together another fun night; Andrew has got the recording out in superquick time, the link is at the end.

EmCee says he’ll blog next week which should be a more informative account of the evening.

 

Friday May 15th 2020.

Posted in Club Night - What happened? on May 16, 2020 by Rhyl Folk Club

Right, here we go. The club are anxious, as always, to be as inclusive as possible and to spread the
news of the good times to be had in the folk club world. To that end, your usual reviewer has asked
for volunteers to give the usual (and usually excellent) Saturday morning PM. That’s not post
meridiem but post mortem, I’m babbling already.
There is a lot going on at these zoom gigs, it may look calm on the surface but, rest assured,
that someone is paddling like mad to keep all the balls in the air. Andrew the younger is the
technical brains underpinning this remarkable transformation of live to virtual. The old guy in the
funny hat is busy calling everyone to order and trying to create the illusion that he is both in charge
and knows what he is doing.
An array of black screens periodically comes alive to reveal a static image of a person or a
couple whose identity may or may not be revealed (or, indeed genuine). Every now and then, the
images may be replaced by silly pictures whilst the incumbent goes off to see to their sourdough
starters.
Anyway, the man with the hat (not, The Man in the Hat) calls up a list of the next turns in
some sort of pre-determined order based on God only knows. This does not presage an outbreak of
Beach Boys covers. Thus Jeff makes a start in “radio phone -in” mode and intersperses various
problems of a personal nature from contributors out and about. Some of the advice given is suspect
as well as implausible. Jeff kicked off with a rendition of the second track on John Wesley Harding,
and a Jimmy Rodgers standard involving incarceration.
Mike Hawkins is next with a Peter, Paul and Mary song before Euan McColl’s paean to the
gypsy caravan. The usual rich performance of Mike’s voice was supplemented by Mel’s variable
back-drops which he seemed to be able to change at will. Pictures of fruit and caravans, no, I don’t
know either.
Alun was up next, in a world of his own, with apposite and heartfelt altered lyrics for the
times (unprecedented-obv) we are in. Just a small note, we are all immunologists now, but vaccines
are not grown, but, cultured. Just sayin’. The second song involved small trees and heavy armoury
somehow.
Geoff Durno had a belting version of the Bobby Sands song which pleaded for his early
release, unsuccessfully, unfortunately. He never did get back to Derry. The second one, I’d never
heard before. You get this sloppy reportage with unpaid volunteers.
Mel and his constantly changing back-drop gave us a R. Digance number about money,
followed by a politician’s standard retort litany which I’m happy to make clear here.
David Hytch followed his Alan Taylor song with the regretful reminder of John Prine’s death.
So many artists have covered so many of his songs. He will be missed.
Jeff came back on with a Noddy Holder hat this time, whilst I was casting my eye around the
zoom (geddit?), Alice and David do not have the Datsun Cherry in the living room, Aidie had
forgotten his chocolate orange and Chas and Jan have a pair of Joey and Chandler chairs-I think. Roly
was in, John was on sound only, Dafydd and Bee live behind a stained glass window, Glenys has
more animal hats than is healthy and Tgwyn has also got silly hats. Stuart and Edna, I couldn’t hear
your tambourine-man. Oh, and hello Natasha all the way from Moscow.
TGwyn had an ancient poem about battles long ago in Rhuddlan, before an Incredible String
Band number. I like the picking style of playing, if that’s what it’s called. I also like Ashley and it’s
about time too. These last two came in via whatever it is called and rejiggled by young Andrew as if
by magic. It’s all to do with bandwidth and BT monopoly. But it does mean that you can all have a go
if you want. And that’s the important thing. I’m thinking here of Margaret and Roddy, go on, make a
little video, get in touch with AWR and he will guide you through the magic. Nothing from Brian this
week, we miss you.
John Shepherd next, and definitely no mention of the dreadful joke between Kate Rusby’s
Maid of Llanwellyn and McTell’s peppers and tomatoes. Glenys did her best with the hats and Chris
was determined to do his Colonel Haji.
Bee read some poetry before Dafydd assailed us with something whilst I went to see to my
sourdough. He introduced his contribution with the admission that he could demonstrate the truism
that not all Welshmen are choristers. That man has never lied to us.
We turn round at this stage and go backwards. Ogdna. As I said at the get go, I’m new to this
and am trying to keep it both brief and informative. Proper journalism, accuracy, humour and good
spelling will all come with practice. How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Etc. See you all next week at a
zoom near you.

Here’s the recording :-

Friday May 8th 2020.

Posted in Club Night - What happened? on May 9, 2020 by Rhyl Folk Club

Thanks to Jeff for doing the weekly review last week; EmCee has said he will have a go next week, but if anyone else fancies a go let me know, you’re very welcome, as I feel I need a bit of a break sometimes.

Alun came to us in sound only due to his cheapskate broadband being unable to cope with his bulk on screen. Being VE day, he kicked the night off with one wot ‘e ‘rote 33 years ago, “Lest we Forget”.

A couple from me were preceded by a fantastic gag. Others seemed not to agree, possibly thinking it was a bit childish. Just for them, here’s another :- A Higgs Boson walks in to a church. The priest rushes out and shouts “Get out, we don’t want your sort in here!” The reply was “But without me, you can’t have mass!” Sorry, if you don’t get it but I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain. One of my songs was about our generation’s inability to shake off the old Imperial systems of measurement.

This week’s quiz.

If Janet and John go into a shop and buy a bar of chocolate for 6d, 2 penny Arrow bars, 5 pennorth of “Sports” and a Beano (3d), how many condoms could they buy at 10d each if they had a ten bob note?

Apparently Mike is fed up of singing “D Day Dodgers. Tough. We still love it.

Jeff was in his pirate outfit, supposedly to prevent reflections from his receding hairline. His gag was REALLY crap. He had cocaine running round his brain, which may have explained it.

Mel is always a quality turn. (Quality can be bad as well as good). Lilli Marlene was followed by “A boy named Sue”, done in his best Home Counties accent. Mel was either quicker on his feet than you would expect from a man of his size, or he had several virtual backgrounds; at one point he was coming to us from a gents toilet, another he was in a deserted Tynewydd.

David Hytch sang “Spring 1919” and “Lord it’s hard to be humble”. I have a sneaky feeling Jeff had thought of doing this as well.

Geoff Ludden thought the Bank Holiday should have been a workers’ day and sang “Peterloo”. Not sure many would have agreed with him, but he also did “Green Fields of France”. Apparently we’ve been in Lockdown longer than France was in WW2. The French also, to be fair , stayed in their houses and clapped from their windows.

John Killion was back to top form after last week’s awful “Damper” song. “John Willy’s Horse” always creases me. Make sure you don’t miss it on this week’s recording.

We saw T Gwyn sing a Lenny Cohen piece, but technical problems intervened with this week’s poem.

Ash has been with us online for several weeks now, although we hadn’t seen him at the club for ages. Tonight he treated us a lovely piece on guitar. We want more.

Brian has been self-harming and cutting bits of his fingers off so wasn’t able to do a recording this week. We should have had a couple of songs recorded in 2012, but technology once again failed us and , although we heard him, we only saw a picture of a plate(?). The subject of much conjecture on the chat line.

Round again for one each. What’s happened to Helen? I enjoyed her songs from Canada. Is she still helping police with their enquiries re the alleged ingestion of her husband by a polar bear?

The highlight of the night was without doubt the appearance of Margaret’s pussy, if you were watching on Gallery view. She spent some time fondling it (one of the biggest I’ve seen). I bet it sheds hair all over the house, Margaret.

Throughout the night we had noticed the presence of some one called “Ineda Baba”, who chose not to speak when Andrew invited him to tell us us about himself. He looked fairly slim, but the picture quality wasn’t the best, and I’d remarked to Jeff in a private chat that he looked like a jihadi in some sort of mask and long hair (but not the jihadi with a poor sex life – “Seldom Bin Laid” (every one’s a winner today!). At 10.25 just as we were winding down, some one finally got it –  “I need a barber”. Nice one.

Quiz Answer. They would not buy condoms as they were Catholics.

A couple of things to look at this weekend, if you’re not off to the beach for a barbie with your mates. There’s the recording from last night and also Andrew, who works pretty tirelessly for the club, has started a Desert Island Discs thing  called “Music and Memories”, which will be available on the website under that category. Being a mug, I was first to “volunteer”, so you can hear the intimate details of my life and how it has affected my musical inclinations. There are 5 tracks of mine (fast forward) and 5 cracking tracks from others at the club. Probably fast forward Nick Jackson’s as well.

Here are the links.

And Friday night:-

Friday May 1st 2020.

Posted in Club Night - What happened? on May 2, 2020 by Rhyl Folk Club

Some one else offered to write the blog this week. I think he was at another meeting in a parallel universe (JS)

THE RHYL FOLK CLUB JOURNAL
Friday May 1st 2020

Chocolate Orange Theft Case Goes To 2nd Hearing
Jury Dismissed Over Claims of Excessive Flatulence
From your new friendly correspondent Gill Bolding

Dear friend,

Before I impart the horrors of this particularly nasty case please let me say how happy I am to be
given the chance to redeem myself in the eyes of my editor.
As I look up from my typewriter, I notice it is 09:20am, time for a small snifter I think, ah that’s better, now, where
was I? Ah yes, the report of the latest offering from the wandering tribe of itinerants known as Rhyl Folk Club.
My all leather steam driven computer was up and running smoothly when the first performer of the evening was
introduced, Y Rhyl’s very own Mr. Mike Hawkins, unfortunately I had spilled some of my drink over my lap and
therefore in the vigorous rubbing dry of the area I missed the title of the songs etc. but I can assure you the sound
emanating from my computer was mellifluous in the most soothing of ways. Once I had stopped rubbing the
offending area, he had completed his turn at the track and it was onto the next guest a Mr. Geoff Durno,
champion flower sifter of Llanelwy. Two confident numbers ending up with an excellent version of This Old guitar.
Mr. Durno did claim Mr. Hawkins had appropriated one of his songs, well I suppose that’s the beauty of going
first. Round about this time it was pointed out that one of the audience was reclining as if on the ‘back-benches’
in Parliament. I begged to differ as he’d got his eyes open.

Next to the fore was a red bereted singer that hails from Prestatyn. He was admiring the sunset as seen from his
prison cell window and dreaming of days gone by, I should imagine a bit like Charles 1st on the evening of Jan 29th
1649. Anyway, enough of my ramblings, interesting though they are. This Mr. Jones suddenly whipped out, from
beneath his desk, a guitar, and treated us to ‘Make You Feel My Love’, unfortunately he is with a crap Internet
supplier and so the sound wasn’t what it could have been. His second offering of ‘The Lark in The Morning’ was
received very well with the audience seemingly miming along in their own confines. The camera then swivelled to
the winner of last year’s ‘Val Doonican Look-a-Like Runner Up’, a Mr. J. Shepherd from Llanfairbackofbeyond, he
sat resplendently in front of his fireplace and imitation log fire, he burns imitation logs by all accounts, all that was
missing was a rocking chair and that woman from Parry’s Corner. He delivered ‘In the Early Morning Rain’
excellently and he’d obviously been working on his set-up as the sound quality was very good. Then in deference
to a Mr. Adrian Rasputin he sang ‘Look Out Mama There’s a White Boat Coming Up the River’, what the chuff that
was about I have no idea.

Suddenly we had the handsome features of Mr. M. Barratt from Engurlund on our screens, and again someone
who has worked out how the ‘lectric supply to the house can effect the overall sound, and gave us two lovely
songs the first being ‘You Belong To Me’ a great love song and then he switched to ‘Stepping Out Mary’ which
again had the audience bobbing around and miming to the words, top notch stuff.
The next artist had me a little baffled to start with I thought the camera was upside down but then I realised he
was sporting a magnificent beard; it was David Hytch who helps run the Dragon’s Breath Folk Club. He played and
sang ‘Powder Fingers’ a new one on me but it’s good to hear songs you haven’t discovered before and then gave
us one of my favourite numbers ‘The Dimming of The Day’, thank you David.

The evening’s entertainment was then switched to Y Rhyl again where a white-headed lunatic was rambling on
about getting drunk at home as opposed to the pub. Who the hell let him in I do not know? He sang a couple of
numbers, forgetting the words to one of them and giggling quite a lot, must be something in the water, like too
much whisky. We stayed in Y Rhyl for the next 2 numbers, Brian Bull, winner of The Norman Collier award for
delayed mouth movement, though it must be said that as per usual the sound and performance was first class. He
gave us ‘Lord Franklin’s Lament’, which I love, and ‘Won’t You Come Down’, another one I love, thank you Brian.
Sir Johnathon Killion of Y Rhyl was up next and delivered the poem, ‘Live in Hope’. Strange that he wandered as
far south as Derbyshire but hey ho, a great piece and a lovely place to visit. He then had the world’s audience
exercising, which is a good thing in these times, to ‘You Push the Damper In’, a special request from
Llanfairbackofbeyond.

We then travelled up the hills to near Marian Cwm where the Rev T. G. Williams was waiting for us to perform ‘Yn
yr Iaith Gymraeg’, ‘Eira Ar Y Coed’, with a trnslation for all of us that aren’t fluent in God’s own language. We than
had a recording of his version of ‘She Belong’s To Me’. His description of his memoies relative to the feeling about
the song took me right back to my own youth; ah those borrstal days were idilic.

We skipped the beer break this week, just as well as the Lunatic from Y Rhyl was getting rather tired and
emotional, suddenly appearing in a pink wig and then a bit of a horse’s arse strapped to his head; some people, I
just don’t know why they’re allowed out; oh hang on we’re not are we.

After we’d run through the performers, we travelled the country again with the night being finished off by Sir J.
Killion with ‘The Coal Hole’, how that went down in St. Petersburg I have no idea.

Before I finish my report, I must say it was good to see some new faces and names on the screen, some people
obviously don’t wish to be seen, Interpol get everywhere these days as do the D.W.P. but it was good all the
same. To finish we must say a big thank you to Nurse Ratchet who ran the evening exceptionally well, and it must
be mentioned that his work isn’t over then as it takes at least 2 hours to reconfigure the recording fit for UTube.

So, until the next time, sleep well.
As ever your new friend, Gill Bolding.

Friday April 24th 2020

Posted in Club Night - What happened? on April 25, 2020 by Rhyl Folk Club

Tonight should have been the AGM. We had a Zoom Committee meeting last week and decided that even Adrian West would have to make allowances for us and it will now be held soon after the club reopens, continuing with the same officers etc.

Sound checks had been completed by the Fiasco Manager and we were rolling out through the ethers at 8.00 (less Alun, who we presume was the worse for the drink).

Mel was the opening turn,pictured here in his back garden tonight. He now has the dubious honour of being the first person to **** up the words. To be fair it was “Hamlet in 3 minutes”, as he celebrated Shakespeare’s birthday, St. George’s Day and home schooling all in one.

Andrew  (El Fiasco) had a list – but he wasn’t letting on and sprung it on Mike. First line – “For nearly 60 years I’ve been a Cochyn”, which as I understand, is “redhead”in Welsh (don’t bother to correct me Alun), which is about the same time I’ve been one.

Looking at the gallery view of everyone there, I could see Mel eating his dinner and Ruth knitting PPE for Glan Clwyd, but the couple dogging were of more interest. Looked like Jan on top but I couldn’t be sure.

David Cutillas was coming live from Spain, and sang a couple in what could possibly be described as “swing” style. What a refreshing change – went down really well here at Beniar. “Dancing cheek to cheek” was followed by “If I had a brain”(?), which lead us directly to Mr. Blythin.

“How can a poor man stand such times and live?” We will all find out soon enough when we have to start paying back the eye-watering billions we’ve had to borrow. Many people can get to grips with”a million”, but don’t really understand “billions”. As an example, a million seconds is nearly 12 minutes. A billion seconds is 31 years. A lot to pay back.

Nick Jackson played a couple of his favourites (but not necessarily ours) – “Rain & Snow” and “St. James Infirmary”. If you keep bending those old strings, Nick, you’ll break ’em, then there’ll be tears!

John Warburton was back again. “Mary’s Dream” – probably the most depressing song of the night, John. If you want to join the Dragon’s Breath on line session, it’s on Tuesday nights at 8.00 on Zoom. Go to Zoom and the ID is 3175777, the password is 653326.

A couple from me . “Billy Austin” and “Maggie”. In “Folk Song Top Trumps”, does a hanging beat an electric chairing? I noticed as I looked at the gallery that Glenys had asked to be placed in an induced coma for my set.

Susie Dent (dictionary corner, Countdown) had yesterday’s “word of the day” – “ultracrepidarian”, following the orange President’s top cure for Covid – taking disinfectant intravenously; it means “one who continually offers advice and opinions on subjects way beyond their understanding”.

Commercial Break – here’s a word from our sponsors:-

John and Karen Killion wer relaxed in their transvestite gear (watch the video if you don’t believe me). The chorus of their song contained a dildo and their poem was one by Hovis Presley. I couldn’t make it up.

Brian was again recorded, but although the sound was ok, video was in freeze frame. “The band played Waltzing Matilda” commemorated Anzac Day (today, 25th).

Geoff Durno is struggling with a couple of fractured vertebrae (no Brokeback Mountain gags please). Seriously, hoping you’ll start getting better before too long, Geoff. Nice set as always.

Geoff Ludden (there wasn’t the same choice of Christian names when we were kids) sang about his home town, now a city but just as dirty, Salford.

T Gwyn completed the line up. Subtitles for the Welsh one and a guitar for his song. Is that a ponytail sticking out behind your head Gwyn?

I’ve been doing the Saturday blog for 6 years now and it’s even harder to write something every week now it’s all on line – I’m very aware that it’s becoming just a few poor gags interlaced with the incoherent ramblings of a disillusioned old man, but Jeff has offered to do it next week and volunteered Alun for the week after, so that’s something for you all to look forward to.

Anyone heard from Ann and Frank?

As I write this (11.30) the video still isn’t uploaded to YouTube but here is the link.

Friday April 17th 2020.

Posted in Club Night - What happened? on April 18, 2020 by Rhyl Folk Club

After taking us through the soundchecks, Andrew the Younger started the evening proper promptly at 8.00. He’s got a lot on his plate, running the show and unfortunately missed out on pressing the “Record” button, so if you weren’t there last night, sorry, you’ve missed it. My notes from the night also appear less than adequate – it’s all too easy to get into the chat and watching what everyone else is doing while some poor sod is giving his all in his front room.

Mike started but his PC went down after his first song.He’d already admitted having a crib sheet, but I don’t think it was necessary as yet again, no one forgot any words. Maybe we’ve all got music stands? NFC!

I was hurriedly called in to fill the void. Attired in full dress tartan, I celebrated the victory of the gallant Duke of Cumberland at Culloden (April 16th 1746) with a pair about the most over glamourised person in British history, Bonny Prince Charlie. When things quickly went tits up at the battle he legged it, leaving his men to be slaughtered and spent the summer skulking around the highlands as a transvestite with Flora (McDonald), who later found fame when she emulsified sunflower oil to create a soft spread, low in saturated fat.

Alun had a proper (ie wooden) guitar tonight, although he was having difficulty playing, having sustained a knife injury earlier in the week. Presumably Wendy had had enough after being cooped up with him for weeks. No jury would ever convict you, Wendy.

A new face on the gallery view was David. It turned out he was one of Mel’s (very few) friends and was in Spain. May give us a song next week.

Talking of Mel – “Joyce the Librarian”. Priceless. As you can see, he’s spending his time in lockdown rebuilding his kitchen.

Talking of lockdown – do you remember my pal from the Punjab, Gorupta Singh, who did a spot for us (and his brothers Kanna Singh and Didna Wanna Singh who declined to perform). There is another brother who may do a spot for us while we’re online – Soshal Distan Singh.

One of the highlights of Jeff’s performance was at the beginning when he caught his nipple in his guitar strap. Made his eyes water and had to capo up a fret.

DSCN4185 copy smallDuring “Roseville Fair”, the good looking couple above were seen dancing, on the gallery view.

Nick was back again. “Coconut Surprise (aka the Condom Song” cleared off anyone watching with their children. The dogs had been locked away or put down for this weeks spot.

Brian had again sent in a recording. The person in charge of continuity had got his act together this week, and he’d employed his missus to do stuff with rubber chickens (don’t knock it if you’ve never tried it – whatever rings your bell).

T Gwyn had been experimenting with sub titles for his Cymraeg section. Very successful. “The ever popular “Myfanwy” completed the set.

Another new face was John Warburton, from the Dragon’s Breath Folk Club (nr. Mold) –  sang one wot he’d writ imself. Excellent. Unusually it was in the style of an old traditional song. Lovely guitar work to boot; hope he’ll be back again.

Geoff Ludden sang “a sailor married a farmer’s daughter”. I don’t know who wrote it, but I’ve only ever heard Mike Harding sing it before and it was good to hear once more.

Mike had put a new valve in his computer and made up for lost time with songs containing deaths, which we were all very much missing.

Yet another newcomer was David Hytch from Rhydymwyn, which EmCee assured us was near Brisbane. His song was spoiled by the sound quality, which AWR can fix with a few button presses if he joins us again, as I hope he will.

Time for a few singles before Andrew wound up at 10.30. Sorry we can’t bring you the recording this week, but here’s Alun with a song he did last night, if not the actual performance. Sorry, subtitles are in Welsh which isn’t much help to 90%. Lovely song in whatever language.

 

 

Friday April 10th 2020.

Posted in Club Night - What happened? on April 11, 2020 by Rhyl Folk Club

It’s Good Friday, traditionally the Club Anniversary (56 years).

And YES! ”tis I! ROBSHAW, your club mascot, coming to you from the storeroom at Tynewydd, telling you how it really was last night, online.

Jeff is normally LOUD.Why was he so quiet. Needs to dip in his pocket and get a decent computer. Tight git.At least he’s found an instrument where he has a modicum of proficiency. The kazoo. He sang the first John Prine song of the evening (sadly John died a couple of days ago). Trying hard to look smart, but failing, in a bow tie and waistcoat, at least he’d made an effort for Party Night.

Last week, as I took my one form of daily exercise, I was jogging over “the bridge”, when I was accosted by a group of ghosts of long dead blues singers from the Deep South (Glamorgan?), waving sheet music and shouting “sing this”. I ignored them; I urge others to do the same if they are similarly approached on a Friday night when we resume, as otherwise it always ends badly.

Geoff Durno had a poor excuse for not performing live,but had recorded a couple of tracks which Andrew Ponytail played. Another John Prine song.

At this point, I noticed that the Shepherds had disappeared off the gallery view, their internet down. A result! I thought.

Mel next. One of the few performers I can tolerate. He suggested everyone open their windows and join in loudly with his Baa Baa sheep chorus. You could hear the sound of “For Sale” signs being knocked in the ground for miles.

EmCee was supposed to be monitoring the “chat”, but appeared to be more interested in the giant ladybirds shagging, on the photo background he’d got up.

Mike played guitar again this week for “Cruel”. His missus looked like she was the worse for drink, wobbling about and about to fall off her chair.

Sadly, the Shepherd internet was back. A long drawn out gag. He suggested people write down the missing (naughty) words from his chorus on the “chat”. Too much for most of the numpties. John was another one who’d made an effort with his appearance – the “Sinatra” look with the untied bow tie failed to convince anyone that he was anything other than a moron.

As promised last week, Nick made an appearance tonight. His performance was predictably forgettable, but his terrier “Tatws” made an impression in the background. As if it was planned, he then sang “Colin the Dog”. We noticed Glenys altering the angle of her camera to point down towards her lap – at first I thought it was her pussy, but it turned out to be her hairy little doggie. Thankfully.

Helen, over in Canada, had much better sound this week. If, like me, stuck away on your own, you’d contemplated topping yourself this week, “The Easter Tree” may have just tipped you over the edge. Her second song was abandoned, when a polar bear entered the house and ate her husband and dog. That’s her story when the Mounties come round investigating his sudden disappearance.

Alun had “Gordon”, his all-metal guitar, with him tonight. He got through “Language of the Heart” with no arrhythmias (geddit?). In fact it was another night where no one forgot the words. All the tales are true – it was ok in the kitchen. “Too Close to the Wind” – can’t beat a mass hanging in Northants, can you. I suspect Alun has had a DIY haircut, or he may may just have been slicking it down. Mel’s DIY cut was actually quite reasonable. From a distance.

T Gwyn’s sound was pretty bad and he gave up half way through. A pity, as there was some Betjeman in there.

John Killion was again in top form, although a monkey would struggle to make any Les Barker work anything less than leg-wetting.

Live songs again this week from Geoff Ludden in Morfa Nefyn. Do you ever come across Andy Anderson in the Folky meetings down there Geoff?

More recorded songs, this time from Brian, who badly needs as much beauty sleep as he can get; his carer has to have him tucked up with his Horlicks by 7.30., so he can’t come out to play live. I don’t know if I moved towards the screen too quickly and got some Doppler effect, or if it’s my diet of “Spangles” (other highly coloured chemical flavoured sweets are available), but Brian’s shirt suddenly changed from red to blue half way through.

In a strange way, I miss you all coming to join me on a Friday night. I miss some of the other stuff that normally goes on here. The Line Dancing is ok, with good ol’ shit-kicking music and the woman from Peaky Blinders telling the muppets what to do, but Tai Chi? What the**** is that about, playing at being tigers in slow motion!

One thing you must listen to this week (play it while you’re peeling the spuds or watching ladybird porn) is Andrew’s Request show – you can fast forward through John Shepherd’s bits and surprisingly no one requested any Adrian West 17th C dirges. Another one to see is the London Trip from 6 years ago, with a YouTube slideshow. There are links to both on this website, at the top of the “Categories”.

**TOP SUGGESTION FOR NEXT WEEK**. On Gallery view let’s have A MEXICAN WAVE !!!

Here’s last night’s recording, which Andrew has posted.